Be the Good Leader You Never Had

Not everyone is born into leadership at a young age; most would have made it after years of working. I had the honour of being invited to a few networking sessions last week, including one that talks about women empowerment and leadership in the workplace. This topic is always close to my heart as I have worked with numerous leaders and people managers in the course of my career since 2000.

I like to differentiate between leaders and managers as there is a clear distinction between both per what I wrote in my earlier post around leading versus managing. Most people I have observed, including peers I have worked with, are more managers by appointment rather than true people leaders as they either lack empathy or are purely self centered in their outlook.

The worst would be people who have been so affected and influenced by bad people managers that they failed to learn the right lessons and instead become one of them. It might have been an unconscious choice or shaping of the behaviour simply because they just have not been exposed to a positive management style.

This article is specifically targeted at this group of folks, especially if they have been told the ugly truth in the employee surveys/performance reviews or they have a sneaking suspicion that their admiration by their reporting lines are as real as the smiles they get whenever they tell their subordinates bluntly to “do as they are told; because I said so”.

If you even have trouble remembering the name of your reporting lines and you are managing less than 20 people who are all located in the same country/office as you; you’re likely to be one of the so-called “bad managers”.

If you enjoy layering your reporting lines as much as you enjoy layering your club sandwich and not make an effort to talk to your one-downs’ reporting lines at least once a quarter or check in on how they are doing even if it’s through your direct managers; you are also likely to be one of the so-called “bad managers”.

Regardless of what your personal experience have been with previous managers, as long as you now have a chance to be a people manager, remember how you felt back then when you had that bad manager.

Ask yourself:

• What was so bad about that person’s management style?

• What did you wish he/she would have done differently?

• How would it have made you act/think/behave if he/she had a different management style?

• Are you spending more time just managing upwards instead of downwards?

In a nutshell, be the kind of people manager and leader that you never had but wish you did. Be the kind of leader that you would want for your kids/siblings/partners/friends and not the kind of leader you wish on your worst enemy.

As leaders, you are responsible for shaping and nurturing the next generation of leaders. Cause and effect; what goes around, comes around and karma can be a bitch sometimes. Karma aside, it is a wonderful opportunity and privilege that not everyone can have, so why not make something good out of it.

About the Author

Mad About Marketing Consulting 

Ally and Advisor for CMOs, Heads of Marketing and C-Suites to work with you and your marketing teams to maximize your marketing potential with strategic transformation for better business and marketing outcomes.

Leading Others, Managing Self

Having spent the last two decades both being managed under various types of leaders and managing others, I can safely say I have a pretty clear idea of the type of leadership that works for me. Alongside that, I also have a good idea of the type of leader I aspire to be.

I believe that leadership is something that is attributed by others and not something that you bestowed upon yourself. Management on the other hand is given as a result of your title and official responsibility but leadership is earned and not given.

I have met several outstanding managers who are inspiring leaders that command respect no matter where they go and what they do. 

On deeper reflection, I have narrowed down to the following admirable traits that serve as a personal guide to me:

• Knowing what you want and how to get it

Good leaders are decisive, confident in their decisions and not easily influenced and swayed without good and sound reasoning. They don’t let their emotions get the better of them, especially in times of extreme stress and pressure. Eagle-eyed in their target and end goal, they know the path to victory and though the course might change along the way, the end goal is crystal clear once their minds are made up.

Instead, they inspire others and ignite excitement in them to follow their vision and work jointly in their own ways to achieve success.

• Good decisions are not always popular

If they are in only to be popular, they will never be a convincing leader that does the right thing. Leadership is not meant to be a popularity contest. The best leaders often make the most difficult and unpopular decisions if these are deemed to be for the greater good in the long run.

They are not afraid to face up to the judgment of the people especially those who don’t see the benefit of it from the onset. They know they cannot please everyone and their purpose is not to please everyone but to do what is right.

• Empowerment, trust and impartiality

Everyone has a place and a role to fulfil within the organization in accordance to their expertise and talent. Good leaders know and appreciate that. They know they are not supposed to know everything and be able to do everything themselves. Instead, they empower and trust the people working with them to do exactly that and giving advice where needed along the way.

Importantly, they don’t let the politics get in the way of empowering and disempowering people to take on certain responsibilities for the common goal they set out to achieve. Micromanagement and favouritism have no place in good leadership.

• Admitting to your own fallacies

We are not meant to be saints and good leaders know that. They don’t let their egos get in the way of admitting to their mistakes when certain wrong decisions have been made. Instead, they bite the bullet like everyone else, are not afraid to apologize and own up to it instead of throwing their employees under the bus.

Good leaders know as well that when mistakes are made, there is no time for finger pointing. They don’t get lost in their mistakes and wallow in them for too long. Instead, they quickly pivot to the right course of action, taking recommendations as well where needed from the people they have empowered. 

• Having your life together

It’s not about having the perfect life, if there is such a thing but keeping how you manage it in check. Everyone has their own issues to sort through but what’s more important is how you deal with your personal versus professional life.

Good leaders are not emotional rollercoasters and by that it doesn’t mean to be a cold and heartless person. Instead, it is to be able to compartmentalize and segregate the issues and whatever emotions you’re facing at the home front and the work front.

An easy way to do a sound check on yourself is when you observe people walking on tip toes around you and do ‘weather checks’ before they speak to you.

• Being connected and seeing the bigger picture

Interpersonal connection doesn’t come naturally to most people. This has to do with the level of connectivity you have with the team on the ground and understanding their challenges and issues faced.

It’s only then that you can see the bigger picture of how it works and how your team can put their skills and talent to good use collectively. It involves looking beyond their background, what they have done on the surface and actually understanding them as a person, how they work and mentoring them to be better.

Good leaders should not find themselves so far removed from the ground that they no longer see the complete picture but a blurry mirage that will soon be out of their grasp of reality.

Personally good leaders and managers should not be mutually exclusive but the former is a lot harder to achieve. There is no golden rulebook or educational pathway to being a good leader. 

Some people do have certain personality traits that put them in a more favourable position then others but all in all, it comes as part of our experience on the field and willingness to learn, adapt and improve.

About the Author

Mad About Marketing Consulting 

Ally for CMOs, Heads of Marketing and C-Suites to work with you and your marketing teams to maximize your marketing potential with strategic transformation for better business and marketing outcomes.

The Dying Empathetic Leadership

In all my years of working, I have come across very few truly empathetic leaders who are genuine in their treatment of their employees and customers.

Some I wish I can work with them longer when I choose to move on for other reasons as I know they would have taught me a lot more than I know now in terms of thinking, doing and communicating with empathy.

Empathy is something not every senior management or leader has unfortunately and it’s very telling in their behind-the-scenes speech and actions.

It’s undervalued simply because leaders don’t really get rated on their ability to connect with their employees and treat them with empathy.

I have witnessed many failures in terms of leaders in 1) not communicating emphatically to their people, 2) not showing true empathy in trying to understand the challenges faced by their workforce and 3) not listening with empathy when their employees provide feedback through forums.

It ends up being lip service or more trying to appear to do what is expected of them to look good and not because they genuinely care.

Classic examples are when there are organizational layoffs or restructuring.

The onset of how decisions are made have nothing to do with empathy but rather the bottom line of cost, profitability and returns.

That is why things never really change for the better in the longer term for most organizations and their leaders that make decisions without empathy.

Over the years, I have been privy to how such decisions are made, sometimes callously and without even sound logic. Rather, it’s more a stop-gap and band-aid approach where true impact on the people are not even considered in the decision making process.

What is worse though is the way such changes are communicated or not communicated to the workforce.

They talk about stock prices, shareholders equity and customers but forget their employees, the backbone of the company carrying that mission on their shoulders and believing in the promises made during the town halls, leadership emails and pep talks.

Poorly worded communications, which is as clear as mud and clueless management sitting around trying to find the right things to say or lend some insights to their team doesn’t help either.

Good, solid, reliable and empathetic corporate communications is a dying art in this sense.

For any self respecting CEO, my advice is to at least make sure you have a solid and empathetic communications advisor if you, yourself are not empathetic by nature.

Empathy might not bring you immediate revenue but it will have longer term benefits to the organization as you will make decisions that actually solve problems for both your customers and employees for the longer term.

Less attrition, less churn and more sustainable growth.

About the Author

Mad About Marketing Consulting 

Ally for CMOs, Heads of Marketing and C-Suites to work with you and your marketing teams to maximize your marketing potential with strategic transformation for better business and marketing outcomes.